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March 2024: The Behavior Issue
In Part 2 of this 2-part article, we’ll explore strategies for calming down dealing with clients whose stress levels are high, who are showing behavior that ranges from anger to outright hostility.
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In Part 1 of this two-part article, we looked at strategies for calming down annoyed clients whose stress levels are mild to moderate, and what can set people off in these situations. In Part 2, we will go over the more extreme cases of client anger, when stress levels are escalated and through the roof.
Again, with a little curiosity and a fair amount of empathy, you can successfully navigate most of these interactions. But, especially with really irate clients, you have to know when to get out of the situation in order to protect your wellbeing and safety.
Last time, we broke down the deeper issues at play that may send a client into “fight or flight” mode when they are in your practice. These are the four main triggers, and the strategies you can use to help defuse them. (For more details see Part 1 of this article in the January 2024 issue of Trends.)
Trigger: The client feels that their goals are being blocked.
Example: They are in a hurry to refill their meds but you usually need 24 hours.
Strategy: Uncover their goals and brainstorm ways to help them meet their goals.
Trigger: The client feels powerless.
Example: Their pet needs care but it is difficult for them to afford it.
Strategy: Help them see they still have power by providing options.
Trigger: The client feels they are being treated unfairly.
Example: A patient’s wound is not healing and needs more surgery.
Strategy: Provide reassurance that you will help them.
Trigger: Making a mistake and feeling guilty.
Example: The client removed the pet’s Elizabethan collar, and the pet chewed on its sutures.
Strategy: Use empathy and compassion to let them know you understand and it will be OK.
When dealing with angry clients, it is important to assess their level of anger as each requires a different strategy.
In Part 1 we talked about the Level 1 Angry Client, the client that is on the verge of becoming upset. The goal with this client is to uncover what they are feeling and thinking so you can help resolve the situation before they escalate.
Ask them “Is everything okay?” or “Is that what you were expecting?” Asking how they are feeling opens up the door for them to tell you what is on their mind.
Now, let’s look at the next two levels and how to handle them.
This is the client that is mildly to moderately upset. They likely have a mid-level grievance that is bothering them that they want to talk about. They may have a raised voice and be emotional but they aren’t acting threatening or calling you names. They likely have a real problem that they are very stressed about and are trying to hold it together.
In situations where the client’s stress is not a result of your or your team’s error, your primary goal is to assure them that you’re there to help.
Our goal with the Level 2 upset client is resolution. We want to de-escalate them so that we can collaborate and find a solution for their situation as quickly as possible. In general, they are a good person but aren’t bringing their best version of themselves to the practice because they are scared.
In situations where the client’s stress is not a result of your or your team’s error, your primary goal is to assure them that you’re there to help. Establish trust and empathy through the following steps:
This is the client that is extremely mad. Their behavior doesn’t seem to match the situation, and they are likely trying to bully their way to a solution with threats and aggression. They generally have a puffed up body position, moving into your personal space, using a commanding loud voice, hurling insults. They are likely swearing and making immediate demands for their problem. They may also be displaying a clenched jaw and fists.
Our goal with a Level 3 hostile client is to listen to their concerns and get them to calm down, and then ease them out of the practice, never to be seen again. Their behavior is unacceptable. They have anger management problems that are red flags for future visits.
Dealing with a Level 3 hostile client is no fun and hopefully something you don’t have to deal with very often. First, you must recognize the situation, then remain calm and collected as you implement your de-escalation plan. This is very similar to when you encounter a bear in the forest. It is important to not provoke the client further.
Here are a few things that you should NOT do:
Dealing with a Level 3 hostile client is no fun and hopefully something you don’t have to deal with very often.
Here is what you SHOULD do:
The first step in de-escalating an angry client is to convey openness and nonaggression through your body language. Adopt a nonthreatening body stance, with your hands by your sides and palms open, facing slightly away from the client. Position your body at a 45-degree angle to them. This posture communicates that you are not a threat and are willing to listen.
Remaining calm and composed is essential when facing a hostile client. It’s easy to become defensive or frustrated, but doing so can escalate the situation further. Take deep breaths, remind yourself to stay calm, and focus on the client’s concerns rather than getting caught up in the emotional intensity. Think of it as a game of chess.
Whenever possible, have another coworker accompany you when dealing with a hostile client. This provides both emotional support for you and an additional witness to the interaction. Their presence can help maintain a sense of security and accountability, potentially calming the client as well. Their role is to be a silent bystander, not give additional commentary unless the situation is escalating and they need to step in.
Hostile clients often need to express their frustration and anger. Let them vent and express their concerns. Do not interrupt or argue with them during this phase. Sometimes, simply allowing them to voice their feelings can help to de-escalate the situation naturally as their energy becomes depleted.
If your workspace allows for it, position a physical barrier, such as an exam table or counter, between you and the angry client. This barrier can act as a psychological buffer, creating a sense of physical separation and safety for both parties. It can also discourage aggressive behavior.
After the client has finished expressing their anger, it’s time to respond. Use phrases that acknowledge their concerns while also establishing boundaries. For example, you can say, “I understand that you’re upset, and I want to help, but I can’t assist you if you continue to raise your voice or act aggressively.” For a list of more helpful phrases, see Toolbox on the opposite page.
If the situation continues to escalate or the client’s behavior becomes threatening, politely and firmly request that they leave your premises. You can say, “I’m sorry, but I can’t help you in this situation. I must ask you to leave.” Stay firm but avoid confrontation.
In extreme cases where the client’s behavior becomes dangerous or violent, it’s important to prioritize the safety of everyone involved. If necessary, call the police or your security team to handle the situation and ensure the safety of all parties.
It is important to recognize that, with the exception of hostile clients, every interaction is an opportunity to strengthen the bond with the client. Whether diffusing annoyance, addressing anger, or managing hostility, the veterinary team’s dedication to providing compassionate care remains paramount. The art of defusing a client outburst ultimately lies in creating a space where both clients and staff feel heard, respected, and supported, fostering a harmonious partnership in the pursuit of optimal pet health and wellbeing.
Navigating the intricacies of defusing a client’s anger is undoubtedly an art, demanding an understanding of human emotions and the ability to adapt strategies based on the intensity of the situation. It is crucial to emphasize the significance of empathy, active listening, and thoughtful responses. The veterinary team’s role in de-escalating conflicts involves a genuine commitment to understanding the client’s perspective, even when faced with the most challenging circumstances.
Stacee Santi, DVM, is a 1996 DVM graduate from Colorado State University and the founder of Vet2Pet, a technology client engagement platform for veterinary practices. |
Photo credits: LightFieldStudios/iStock via Getty Images Plus, skynesher/E+ via Getty Images